Jargon Jabber-whacky

New terminology is constantly being added to the American vocabulary. Our "melting-pot" society is reflected in the everyday slang of our nation's teenagers, the jargon of computer industry technicians, even the boardroom chatter of businesspeople from coast to coast. This page is dedicated to the new words and phrases that amuse, entertain and confuse us as they make their way into everyday use. (Many thanx to WIRED magazine for first calling my attention to this funny phenomenon; some of the following first appeared there, others have been added from various sources. If you have another term or phrase you'd like to see chronicled here, send them HERE.)

Permalancer
A permanent freelancer. For instance, WORDSHARK.com is the name of my permalancing business!

Ohnosecond
The fraction of time in which you realize you've made some kind of obvious mistake and there's no turning back.

Irritainment
TV shows, movies, CDs and Web sites that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

Mulitmediocrity
Generally, a form of irritainment that is also poorly produced or boring. Can also apply to personalities. "Kathie Lee is a multimediocrity."

Umfriend
The term used to introduce someone with which one is entwined in a relationship of dubious standing. "This is Pat, my ... um ... friend."

Uninstalled
Someone who has been fired, downsized or rightsized in a corporate setting.

Diaper Change
One of several daily visits by a tech-support person to the desk of a particularly cranky, lazy, or technically incompetent computer user. "Sorry I was late, but I had to do a diaper change down in Accounting."

Multislacking
When an employee has two browser windows open, a nonwork-related site on top of a productive one, and quickly clicks on the legitimate site whenever the boss is nearby.

Jithead
An international transportation term used to describe people who order goods on a "just in time" basis and then freak out when told that they didn't order early enough. "That jithead should have placed his order a month ago."

Post-Greenspan
The aftermath of comments made by Federal Reserve chair Alan Greenspan on the US or world economy. "The post-Greenspan euphoria has subsided around of the globe."

Rumint
Short for rumored intelligence. A play on the intelligence jargon humint (human intelligence). "According to rumint, the Air Force will reveal one or two black projects in April."